Faltering December

It’s December already. The last month of this pretty uneventful year. I hadn’t seen it coming because each and every month my mind was clouded with work. Not that I mind, though. But, suddenly, the twelfth month comes with a too-loud-bang.

Faltering December. That’s right. Because, so far, nothing has gone right since the beginning of the month. Do you ever gone through one of these days? When you fail to get almost everything you wanted, you lose a few that you’ve already have, and you fear for what fate still has in store for you? My days has been like this. Personal stuff, work, financial, hobby, all are getting caught up in a whirlwind of lightning and starting to catch fire. I’ve been trying to get out of it but, up until now, everything is useless.

The one that hit me the most was a trust issue. This came from a surprising source. I always try to be a good person, but more than once it has been misused, undermined, betrayed. I want to stay cool-headed, but the longer the issue goes, the harder it gets. What disappoint me the most is that, turns out, this isn’t the first. This is the culmination of little issues that have never been resolved for these past few years. Same old issues that keep repeating itself. I’m angry at this ‘source’, but I’m also angry at myself for letting it get this far. I feel that I’m being put in the position of the bad guy here when all I did was trying to is help. Frustrating? You bet.

This post is only a way to channel all the storm in my mind. I know that right now, the only thing I can do is hope and work hard to find a solution to this bunch of inconvenience.  I’ve never been a quitter and I won’t be one right now. I’ll get back up again and prevail. Have faith!


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