Faltering December

It’s December already. The last month of this pretty uneventful year. I hadn’t seen it coming because each and every month my mind was clouded with work. Not that I mind, though. But, suddenly, the twelfth month comes with a too-loud-bang.

Faltering December. That’s right. Because, so far, nothing has gone right since the beginning of the month. Do you ever gone through one of these days? When you fail to get almost everything you wanted, you lose a few that you’ve already have, and you fear for what fate still has in store for you? My days has been like this. Personal stuff, work, financial, hobby, all are getting caught up in a whirlwind of lightning and starting to catch fire. I’ve been trying to get out of it but, up until now, everything is useless.

The one that hit me the most was a trust issue. This came from a surprising source. I always try to be a good person, but more than once it has been misused, undermined, betrayed. I want to stay cool-headed, but the longer the issue goes, the harder it gets. What disappoint me the most is that, turns out, this isn’t the first. This is the culmination of little issues that have never been resolved for these past few years. Same old issues that keep repeating itself. I’m angry at this ‘source’, but I’m also angry at myself for letting it get this far. I feel that I’m being put in the position of the bad guy here when all I did was trying to is help. Frustrating? You bet.

This post is only a way to channel all the storm in my mind. I know that right now, the only thing I can do is hope and work hard to find a solution to this bunch of inconvenience.  I’ve never been a quitter and I won’t be one right now. I’ll get back up again and prevail. Have faith!

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Lucky

The world today isn’t a friendly place. Living today is more of a struggle or a battle than a picnic. As it gets tougher and tougher to establish yourself in society, to provide for yourself and your family, I look around then look at myself and can’t help to feel lucky.

I look around and see people going to work at the wee hours of the morning, Dads leaving their family behind, Moms leaving their little ones in the care of their parents or babysitter, singles leaving rented place in a rush after their alarm failed to wake them up in time. All leave with heavy footsteps, heavy heart.

I look around and see people doing jobs they don’t even like, forcing themselves to get through the days work-come home-and do it all over again the next day, wanting to quit but it’s not an option, wanting to take a chance but it’s the only way they can get by. All devoured by stress and unhappiness.

I look around and see Moms couldn’t stay at home to care for their sick child because the company told them not to, Dads couldn’t come home early to see their son compete in something because they’re caught up with work, sons and daughters couldn’t come home to their parents on holidays or special occasion because they have to work all through the weekend. All are angry, all are sad.

And then I look at myself and know that I’m lucky.

I used to be one of them. I use to feel what they’re feeling. I use to forced myself to deal with what they’re dealing.

I used to dream, and said it out loud: I wish I can do something I love for a living, enjoying my time at work, never be stressed again. I dream that used to only be that… a dream.

Never have I thought that one day that dream can actually come true.

Though at first it took a magnitude of strength to even came up with the courage to take the plunge, leave the corporate world, leave what people deemed as appropriate, to pursue the uncertainty. Though I went through a battle to even get a tiny little place for myself, now I know the true meaning of that dream I used to said out loud. Doing something I love for a living. Now I can feel it. Now I’m living in it.

I bid goodbye to all those stressful jobs that I was forced to take due to necessity and to those stressful weekends on duty and to those lousy company who only cares about profit rather than about the fact that their employee is a human being. I bid goodbye to them and never look back.

I look at myself and know that I’m lucky.

To feel excited whenever an editor contacted me offering a new book to translate. To spend hours at work, sometimes way after midnight, not because I have to but because I can’t make myself stop and because the book is too interesting. To call it a day or to have a day off whenever I want to or whenever I need to. To juggle between work and family so easily and seamlessly. To work too hard because I love to and because I want to.

I can proudly say to myself that I’m brave enough to dream, I’m brave enough to pursue my dream, and I never regret the decision I’ve made.

You can do that too. Even if it down to you versus the world, if you believe in your dream, you can achieve what I achieve, if not more. One day, you, too, can proudly say: I know I’m lucky.

© Kitsen  Dreamstime Stock Photos

 Picture © Kitsen | Dreamstime Stock Photos

 

 

Cerita Gue: Jadi Penerjemah

*Di sini gue pake bahasa sehari-hari. Karena ini hanya obrolan santai antar kita aja, sesama pengejar mimpi.

Akhir-akhir ini banyaaaak banget yang nanya ke gue:

Jadi penerjemah itu awalnya harus ngapain? Cari kerjaannya di mana? Awalnya lo gimana? Susah gak?

Lalu gue mikir, sepertinya banyak orang-orang di sekitar gue yang mulai melirik atau tertarik untuk jadi penerjemah. I’m honored that they want to hear about it from me, mau nanya-nanya ke gue. Tapi seringnya gue minder sendiri karena ngerasa masih penerjemah baru, belom banyak pengalaman, masih banyak yang harus diperbaiki di diri sendiri dan ngerasa belom pantes ngasih saran atau tips atau apapun ke orang lain.

Tapi, berhubung semakin lama semakin banyak yang nanya, gue pikir gak ada salahnya untuk dibahas di sini. Ini bukan tips, bukan wejangan, tapi hanya share pengalaman gue aja.

Pertama-tama, gue mau share pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang sering banget ditanyain ke gue.

  1. Kenapa gue jadi penerjemah?

Gue gak pernah mimpi jadi penerjemah. Malah gue baru ngeh kalo ini salah satu pilihan kerjaan yang cocok buat gue setelah beberapa tahun lulus kuliah. Gue memang sering baca novel, yang bahasa Inggris dan bahasa Indonesia, karena hobi plus karena tuntutan kuliah sebagai anak Sastra Inggris.

Awal gue jadi penerjemah simple aja, karena liat lowongan kerja untuk penerjemah novel bahasa Inggris pas gue lagi nganggur. Waktu itu gue dapet lowongannya di Twitter dan itu bener-bener gak sengaja. Setelah gue cek nama penerbit (harus ekstra hati-hati kalau dapet info lowongan kerja dari internet) dan memastikan kalau penerbit itu ada dan memang lagi buka lowongan, gue kirim lamaran dan CV via email.

2. Jadi penerjemah itu ngapain aja?

Gue penerjemah novel bahasa Inggris, jadi intinya gue nerjemahin novel bahasa Inggris ke bahasa Indonesia. Penerbit kirim naskah berupa soft copy via e-mail atau buku via kurir. Naskahnya gue terjemahkan dengan program Word di komputer. Yes, gue ngetik sendiri. Lama pengerjaan untuk satu buku macam-macam, tergantung deadline yang dikasih penerbit dan tergantung kecepatan menerjemahkan sama kecepatan ngetik si penerjemah. Kalo gue sendiri, untuk satu buku rata-rata perlu waktu sebulanan.

Setelah buku selesai diterjemahkan dan dikirim balik ke penerbit, kadang-kadang ada penerbit yang beberapa waktu kemudian akan kirim balik naskah itu ke penerjemah kalau ada pertanyaan atau koreksi tentang hasil terjemahan. Setelah itu tinggal nunggu buku terbit (plus nunggu honor ditransfer, hehehe…)

3. Susah gak jadi penerjemah?

Jujur, susah! Karena dari nol banget, gue harus kerja keras untuk ‘cari nama’ di dunia penerbitan. Ya, memang makan waktu beberapa tahun, tapi karena gue yakin mau jadi penerjemah jadi gue pantang menyerah.

Selain itu, penerjemah juga harus selalu memoles dan meningkatkan skill menerjemahkan. Gue masih jauuuuh dari ahli, masih belajar. Setiap hari, setiap kerjaan, gue selalu berusaha untuk meningkatkan vocabulary bahasa Inggris dan Indonesia, memoles keluwesan dalam membahasakan kembali terjemahan dan memastikan apa yang pengin disampaikan penulis nyampe ke pembaca. Pokoknya gue harus bikin buku yang gue terjemahkan bisa dinikmati para pembaca dan bisa dibaca tanpa ada kebingungan ‘maksudnya apa?’.

4. Jadi penerjemah honornya gede, ya?

Ya. Tapi itu kalau kamu jadi penerjemah dokumen-dokumen. Untuk honor penerjemah novel sebetulnya gak besar-besar amat. Tapi, buat gue, itu lebih dari cukup.

5. Jadi penerjemah itu santai, ya? Kerjanya di rumah doang.

Nah! Ini asumsi paling salah sedunia. Memang, penerjemah freelance kerja di rumah, judulnya juga cuma penerjemah lepas, tapi ini bukan kerjaan part-time. Penerjemah punya deadline yang WAJIB dipatuhi. Bayangkan, untuk satu buku, penerjemah harus menerjemahkan minimal 250 halaman dengan deadline sekian minggu. Kadang, buat ngejar deadline, Sabtu dan Minggu juga gue kerja. Makanya penerjemah harus siap sibuk. Sibuk beneran, bukan sok sibuk. 😉

Tapi, gue bisa bilang dengan yakin, bahwa jadi penerjemah itu buat gue sangat menyenangkan dan stress-free. Kenapa? Karena ini bukan sekadar kerjaan, tapi juga hobi gue. Dan kalau kita pintar ngatur waktu, kita yang tentuin kapan dan berapa lama kita mau kerja, kapan dan berapa lama kita mau libur.

Skeletal hands

Image ©Phil Date from Dreamstime Stock Photos

Selanjutnya, gue akan bahas pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang sering ditanyain ke gue dari orang-orang di sekitar gue yang tertarik untuk jadi penerjemah.

  1. Di mana cari lowongan jadi penerjemah?

Ini lumayan banyaaaak yang tanya. Dan jawaban gue adalah: cari di internet. Sekarang-sekarang ini hampir semua penerbit punya akun sosial media, dari mulai Facebook, Twitter sampai Instagram. Cara pertama untuk mulai cari lowongan adalah add atau follow akun-akun itu. Gue dapet kerjaan di dua penerbit dengan cara ini, yang pertama dari Twitter dan yang ke dua dari Facebook.

Selain itu, ada juga penerbit yang punya forum, contohnya Elex Media Komputindo. Di forum cari thread lowongan.

Enaknya cari lowongan dengan kedua cara di atas adalah kita bisa tanya-tanya ke adminnya tentang hal-hal yang masih belum kita pahami dari syarat-syarat yang diajukan penerbit. Jadi, kalau memang akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk kirim lamaran, udah yakin seyakin-yakinnya bahwa kita sudah memenuhi persyaratan.

Jangan lupa pastikan kalau bidang penerjemahan sesuai dengan minat dan kemampuan kamu. Misalnya, kalo kamu seperti gue, suka banget baca novel atau mahasiswa/lulusan Sastra Inggris, cari lowongan untuk penerjemah novel/naskah fiksi. Kalo kamu tipe orang yang lebih serius, suka karya-karya ilmiah, dan punya hobi atau background di bidang tertentu (misalnya sejarah) buku non-fiksi sepertinya lebih pas.

2. Jadi penerjemah harus punya pengalaman?

Ini pertanyaan yang tricky untuk dijawab. Pertama kali kirim lamaran untuk jadi penerjemah, pengalaman gue nol, tapi gue tetep nekat. Tapi akhir-akhir ini gue memang liat kalau ada beberapa penerbit yang mencantumkan syarat harus punya pengalaman menerjemahkan minimal dua buku. Saran gue sih, kalau memang yakin, coba aja kirim lamaran. Semua penerbit pasti akan kirim tes untuk kita kerjakan, jadi kerjakan tes itu sebaik-baiknya dan kirim sesuai deadline yang sudah ditentukan. Who knows penerbit bakal suka sama gaya penerjemahan kamu.

3. Apa aja yang harus dikirim untuk melamar jadi penerjemah?

Gue pernah baca post di blognya salah satu penerjemah senior, Mbak Dina Begum, tentang surat lamaran untuk penerjemah. Digabung dengan pengalaman gue sendiri (yang masih belum seberapa) ini yang gue dapet:

  • Gunakan alamat e-mail yang profesional. Penting? Tentu. E-mail address si pengirim lamaran bakal jadi hal pertama yang dibaca penerbit. Jadi, tinggalin deh alamat e-mail yang unyu-unyu, misalnya gueimut@yahoo.com, rockandroll@gmail, pinkylover@hotmail.com. Lebih baik bikin alamat e-mail dengan nama sendiri. Selain lebih profesional, juga supaya penerbit gampang menghubungkan nama dengan alamat e-mail kamu, misalnya pradipta@yahoo.com, janit.putri@gmail.com dan sebagainya.
  • Jangan kosongkan subjek e-mail. Isi dengan ‘lamaran penerjemah novel penerbit ___.’
  • Tulis kata pengantar di e-mail walau hanya beberapa baris aja. Selain attach CV dan sebagainya, pastikan ada kata-kata pengantar di e-mail kamu. Misalnya,

yth. HRD penerbit ___, berdasarkan informasi yang saya dapat dari ___ maka saya berniat untuk melamar menjadi penerjemah di penerbit ___.

  • Selain CV, akan lebih bagus kalau kamu kirim juga contoh terjemahan. Gak perlu panjang, setengah atau satu bab juga cukup. Pastikan novel yang kamu terjemahkan belum pernah diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Indonesia, untuk menghindari kecurigaan copy-paste terjemahan. Menurut gue, langkah ini penting, apalagi untuk kamu yang belum punya pengalaman menerjemahkan. Siapa tau setelah baca hasil terjemahan kamu editor tertarik untuk ngirim tes terjemahan walau kamu belum punya pengalaman. Kesempatan untuk diterima bisa jadi lebih besar, kan?
  • Beberapa novel punya konten dewasa. Kalo kamu kirim lamaran untuk menjadi penerjemah novel/naskah fiksi, dan kamu nggak mau menerjemahkan konten yang hot-hot atau yang agak ‘nyerempet-nyerempet’ tulis juga itu di lamaran kamu. Jangan sampai editor kirim tes novel dewasa dan kamu baru bilang kalo kau nggak mau menerjemahkannya. It’ll save you, and your future editor, a lot of hassle.
  • Nama file attachment, berupa CV atau contoh terjemahan, jangan lupa ditambah dengan nama kamu, misalnya CV Penerjemah_Mustika Ardiana. Ini dilakukan supaya file CV kamu gak tenggelam di antara sekian juta file ‘dokumen’ yang ada di komputer penerbit.
  • Sabar. Yang gue alami waktu ngirim lamaran, penerbit perlu waktu lumayan lama untuk memproses lamaran, mengirim tes (kadang lebih dari satu tes) sampai akhirnya nawarin gue kerjaan. Waktu yang paling lama yang gue alami dari mulai kirim lamaran sampai ditawarin kerjaan adalah tiga bulan. Lalu dari pekerjaan pertama sampai akhirnya dapet kerjaan reguler setiap bulan perlu beberapa bulan lagi.

 

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Image ©Dawn Hudson from Dreamstime Stock Photos

4. Setelah jadi penerjemah, apa yang harus dipertahankan supaya penerbit pakai jasa kita lagi dan lagi? 

  • Terus belajar. Jangan pernah capek untuk terus belajar menerjemahkan lebih baik, tambah kosa kata dan sebagainya. Kalau gue, belajar adalah rajin-rajin baca novel (Inggris dan Indonesia) dan rajin nonton film berbahasa Inggris dengan subtitle bahasa Indonesia. Kenapa? Pertama, untuk lihat “Oh, kata ini bisa diterjemahkan seperti itu” atau “Oh, peribahasa ini padanannya itu toh” dan, kedua, untuk menambah kosa kata Inggris dan Indonesia. Gue selalu catet kata baru di notebook kecil plus artinya atau penggunaannya, kalau-kalau lupa dan biasanya dengan mencatat justru jadi lebih nempel di otak. Lalu ikutan page-nya Himpunan Penerjemah Indonesia (HPI) di Facebook. Pastikan nama kamu nama asli dan foto kamu, kalo pake foto diri, sopan, ya (that means no duck face!). Page ini banyak sekali nambah wawasan gue tentang penerjemahan. Setiap hari ada aja diskusi tentang berbagai hal yang penting untuk proses belajar seorang penerjemah.
  • Jangan pernah telat ngirim kerjaan. Kecuali ada kejadian luar biasa yang bener-bener bikin kamu gak bisa akses gadget dan Internet, jangan pernah telat ngirim kerjaan. Always on time. Cara supaya gak pernah telat? Begitu terima kerjaan, hitung target halaman yang harus kamu selesaikan setiap hari, jumlah halaman dibagi jumlah hari pengerjaan minus hari libur (Sabtu atau Minggu). Jangan lupa sisakan waktu beberapa hari untuk cek ulang terjemahan. Dengan mematuhi hasil perhitungan ini kamu pasti bisa menerjemahkan tepat waktu. Ingat! Deadline is your lifeline.
  • Jangan maksa ambil kerjaan. Ini terutama berlaku untuk yang punya kerjaan di dua penerbit atau lebih, like me. Perhitungkan baik-baik. Apa kamu sanggup mengerjakan dan mengirim kerjaan tepat waktu? Lebih baik jujur ke editor dan bilang kalo kamu masih punya kerjaan yang harus diselesaikan, daripada maksa ambil lalu akhirnya keteteran dan telat ngirim kerjaan. Sebagai orang yang pernah jadi editor, gue tahu editor akan lebih menghargai kejujuran kamu. Bahkan, kalo editor kamu suka banget sama kerjaan kamu dan waktunya memungkinkan, biasanya editor bersedia menyesuaikan jadwal pengerjaan dengan jadwal kamu. It’s a win-win solution.

5. Referensi apa yang gue pakai untuk membantu proses penerjemahan?

Gue sangat mengandalkan Internet. Semua available di Internet. Tapi, yang paling sering gue kunjungi adalah Kateglo, Sederet.com, Proz.com plus Google.

Kateglo untuk mencari kata dalam bahasa Indonesia sesuai EYD menurut KBBI plus sinonim dan artinya.

Sederet.com untuk membantu ngasih ‘clue’ tentang kata yang artinya gue lupa atau nggak tau.

Proz.com untuk arti atau padanan berbagai istilah dalam bahasa Indonesia, misalnya istilah hukum waktu gue lagi nerjemahin novel yang profesi karakter utamanya adalah pengacara.

Google sih bisa buat banyak hal. Misalnya cari arti kata dalam bahasa Inggris (arti plus sinonim dan antonim), cari arti peribahasa atau padanannya dalam bahasa Indonesia, cari arti bahasa slank, cari referensi tentang peristiwa, tokoh, atau bahasa lain yang dibahas dalam novel yang lagi gue terjemahin, dan sebagainya.

Dan, sesekali, gue juga masih buka kamus fisik kok, peninggalan zaman kuliah dulu.

*

Baiklah, mungkin hanya segitu yang bisa gue bahas. Jadi penerjemah itu memang bukan pekerjaan yang gue impikan dari dulu, tapi setelah gue jalanin (walau masih berusaha ‘cari nama’) gue yakin kalau inilah pekerjaan impian gue. Kalo kamu pengin jadi penerjemah juga, terus coba, terus usaha, terus latihan, pokoknya jangan pantang menyerah, oke?!

 

About Life

Back then, we were unaware of what life is and how the world works, as children. Little pure souls oblivious to the dark and  difficult part of living. Everyday’s a new adventure. Everyday’s a new game to play. Tomorrow is just another day.

Slowly, life presents its true form as we get older. Tears make friends with sorrow that cannot be amend by a piece of chocolate or a fairy tale storybook. Pain is no longer a wound we can heal with a drop of iodine. Everyday is a new struggle. Tomorrow holds the promise of unpredictable destiny.

What did we imagine, as kids, about how life would be when we grow up? I guess not much of it came true.

Today, as I heard the pain and despair of one of my dearest, a mixed feeling rushed over me.

Ah, I’m not alone… Ah, life isn’t just being cruel to me… Ah, so that’s just the way it goes sometimes…

We’re the same, I know you understand me the most. The words got me prickling with unknown emotion.

I can’t determine how I could make things better for my dearest. I can’t decide what to say.

I want to say that everything will get better, because I know it will, but I don’t have the guts to do so.

Let me just give you, my dearest, something I’ve written a long time ago. It may not be the best consolation, but I know that you’ll know it’s from the heart.

my dear friend,

somehow the path we have to take can be so unpredictable. it can be straight and visible, or full of turns and heavily clouded. there are days when we glide easily through it. but once in a while we have to crawl up its dusty and rocky cliff. surprises inevitably lurking, waiting to jump on our back, forcing us to take unwanted turns.

My dear friend,

our life had stop being easy, I know. but it becomes difficult only if we let it be that way. stand straight, chin up, and face the unknown adventure it forces you to take. you may get bumps and bruises along the way, but what matters is the will for you to try. 

my dear friend,

anytime you feel overwhelmed with life, share it with me. we’ll ease it up with some laughter and good times together. whatever happens, just know that I got your back… I got your back.

 

Commitment

Question: How far would you respect a commitment?

In relationship, among friends and even at work, commitment is the one thing that always came up or being questioned. When a boyfriend kept his girl waiting for him to pop the question, everyone starts wondering whether he has commitment issues. When one bestfriend lied to the other and got caught doing so, people starts saying that the bestfriend who lied isn’t a loyal friend a.k.a didn’t respect their friendship commitment. When an employee starts looking for other jobs, attending job interviews and such, the employer would think that the employee didn’t commit to the company and should not be working for them anymore.
It easy for me to state those examples. Not so easy when I’m faced with a commitment issues of my own.

Back to the question. How far would you respect a commitment? I, in my own delusional kind of way, think that commitment is something of high importance therefore needs to be respected no matter what. Sadly.. the other part doesn’t think so. I’m trying so hard to respect it but somehow I feel like I’m the bad guy.

In respecting a commitment, how far would you give the other part some slack? “Oh, he has that so I have to understand.”; “Oh, she’s busy with this so I have to wait.”; The other part seems to underestimate the commitment we’ve made, yet how come I feel like I’m the bad guy?

Even a simple promise is an example of a commitment made between two people. When one hold tightly to it and the other just say and forget, which one is the bad guy?

How come a commitment is reduced into just words we say and not something we respect and do?

Ah… this world is becoming even more random than I thought it has….

The Pursuit of Dream

“I won’t give up!”

“I’m not giving up!”

“I will fight!”

Those are the words I want to say. Those are the words that, right now, I desperately want to believe. But… real life can be such a rocky mountain. Sometimes even looking up and ahead terrifies me. It took me so much time just to gather up the courage to go one step forward. With each step I make, it gets easier… easier… until a huge chunk of road is missing in front of me and I need to rake my brain out on how to get across. After I finally found what seem to me as the perfect solution, I made a wrong move and got into a big trouble. I imagine myself in the position of Sylvester Stallone in that “Cliff Hanger” movie, in the edge of a cliff with only one hand hanging on to dear life. I got scared. I was thinking of giving up. I was thinking of the end.

And now, looking back to the road I’ve taken, something came to mind. THIS IS MY DREAM!!! This is what I want for myself, for my future, for my life! I remember how so many people were against me in pursuing this dream, some still are. I remember how so many people look down at me, saying I got no chance, saying it’s impossible. I remember how I brushed them all away and determined to go forward. After all that, giving up sounds stupid.

Along the road, there were time, like now, when I asked myself this: “Is this a mistake?” With so little support and so much hard work to do, I started second-guessing my choice. Doubt wrapped its arms around me and holding me tight, suffocating me. “What should I do now?”

Living these past 28 years of my life, I fully realize that nothing’s easy. Some stuff may seem easy to get, but actually they’re not. So far, out of dream and determination, magical things have happened to me. Dream hard, work hard, pray hard, and one day, out of the blue, it will come true. When it does, it’ll look as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. I will take my hardship now as the process phase. Yes, the process phase. When everything feels so hard, so out of reach and so impossible. I will set my goals right again, think about my strategies again. I may fail in so many things in life, but I’m not gonna fail in pursuing this particular dream. I will reach that mountain top!

So… I will say it again:

“I won’t give up!”

“I’m not giving up!”

“I will fight!”

“I will pursue my dream!”

“I will live my dream!”

“I will succeed!”

Are You Happy?

If someone asked you that question, what would your answer be? And why?

Not trying to sound all saint and all, but lately I’ve seen a couple of old friends who seems to forget what happiness means.

It’s an old and cliche saying, but I think it’s the truth. Sometimes you focused too much on what you’re lacking instead of focusing in what you actually have. And most of the times, in order to do that, you need to see your life from a different perspective, other people’s perspective in this case.

One example, an old friend of mine, no longer in touch but still connected through Facebook, is married with two kids. Having a husband and gorgeous kids at the age of 28 is a blessing, in my opinion. However, she constantly whines on her Facebook status of not having much time for herself, of being tired for taking care of the kids all day etc., etc. I don’t mean to pry on someone else’s life or anything, but her daily whining session is always there everytime I click on my Facebook news feed. Yes, I’ve hide her from my feed ever since, but still, something in the back of my head says that, “hey, you should be thankful of your life.”

It’s not that I don’t approve of complaining about life. Sometimes the problems that we’re having forced us to just spill our heart out somewhere, forgetting that people will be able to read it and aware of your personal issues. But continuous whining and complaining, that’s a whole different story.

Not having much time for herself is a problem for all mother. I know I have no real clue about how that feels, but isn’t it a risk of motherhood that you’re supposed to be aware of when you decided to have kids? Looking around, there are a lot of my other friends who are in the exact position as her, but can still find herself happy with all the crazy being a mother stuff. One friend said, when her kids are asleep, they do what they love, like watching dramas on TV or DVD, eat chocolate of ice cream and other fun things. If they can do it, why can’t she?

I’m not saying that I’m perfect or forever happy with my life, no. I have problems, made mistakes and bad choices throughout my life, too. But lately I’ve been trying to learn how to focus on something else instead of my misery. When I’m upset about something, I think happy thoughts or do fun things until I’m ready to think clearly in finding the solution to what has upset me. I find that this way I can focus more on being happy than being pathetic.

If my problems are too unbearable, instead of blurting it out in social medias, I share it with my most trusted friend. She doesn’t necessarily need to give me advices or something, but sometimes just sharing it takes a chunk of load out of my heart. After that, I’d feel a little lighter and most of the times even manage to think of the solution to get rid of the problems.

Asked me whether I’m happy or not. I would break it down in several points.

  • In terms of my job, I’m happy with it because I love it so very much. Although I don’t have a permanent job with a career path to climb upon, but I’m doing what I love the most and I’m satisfied with my choice.
  • In terms of my family, I’m happy being around them. Of course, family sometimes have issues and can be a little annoying. But, hey, who am I without my family?
  • In terms of friendship, I’m really, really happy. I have amazing best friends who can put up with my roller coaster mood swings. I love my best friends and I won’t trade them with anything else in the whole wide world. To me, my best friends are keeping me sane, even though I often do crazy stuff. Most of the times they even get crazy with me 😀 Saranghae nae chinguya!
  • In terms of love life, I’m single, but happy. I don’t want to rush it just because I’m already fit for marriage and motherhood. It’s easy to find a lover, but finding a life-long partner takes more work than that.

See, not all aspects of my life is all sweet and candy-like. And I’m sure it’s the same with other people, too. But still, I can confidently say that I’m happy. Because happiness simply depends on how you look at your own life.

So, next time you have the urge to whine on social media, try and ask yourself this question: Are you happy? Then reflect on what you have in life. Life is only complicated because you made it look that way. Be happy, because happiness only follows happy people 😀

 

“Are You Happy?”
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