“I won’t give up!”
“I’m not giving up!”
“I will fight!”
Those are the words I want to say. Those are the words that, right now, I desperately want to believe. But… real life can be such a rocky mountain. Sometimes even looking up and ahead terrifies me. It took me so much time just to gather up the courage to go one step forward. With each step I make, it gets easier… easier… until a huge chunk of road is missing in front of me and I need to rake my brain out on how to get across. After I finally found what seem to me as the perfect solution, I made a wrong move and got into a big trouble. I imagine myself in the position of Sylvester Stallone in that “Cliff Hanger” movie, in the edge of a cliff with only one hand hanging on to dear life. I got scared. I was thinking of giving up. I was thinking of the end.
And now, looking back to the road I’ve taken, something came to mind. THIS IS MY DREAM!!! This is what I want for myself, for my future, for my life! I remember how so many people were against me in pursuing this dream, some still are. I remember how so many people look down at me, saying I got no chance, saying it’s impossible. I remember how I brushed them all away and determined to go forward. After all that, giving up sounds stupid.
Along the road, there were time, like now, when I asked myself this: “Is this a mistake?” With so little support and so much hard work to do, I started second-guessing my choice. Doubt wrapped its arms around me and holding me tight, suffocating me. “What should I do now?”
Living these past 28 years of my life, I fully realize that nothing’s easy. Some stuff may seem easy to get, but actually they’re not. So far, out of dream and determination, magical things have happened to me. Dream hard, work hard, pray hard, and one day, out of the blue, it will come true. When it does, it’ll look as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. I will take my hardship now as the process phase. Yes, the process phase. When everything feels so hard, so out of reach and so impossible. I will set my goals right again, think about my strategies again. I may fail in so many things in life, but I’m not gonna fail in pursuing this particular dream. I will reach that mountain top!
So… I will say it again:
“I won’t give up!”
“I’m not giving up!”
“I will fight!”
“I will pursue my dream!”
“I will live my dream!”
“I will succeed!”
Aiko Takes Notes 